Written by Kim, Chang Jin

I'd like to introduce some story on leadership written by Dale Carneige who wrote self improvement on the secret of success in life.

I look forward to it becomes nutrients in your life.

01. Don't run your mouth

We cannot persuade with swordplay. When people are forced into a corner they dig their own grave. Better to take the wall for a fierce dog met in a log. Even if we kill a dog there still remains scar after bitten.

Defense, refutation… sometimes we are heady with victory winning the dispute.

We cannot gain person's heart with this. It is useless victory. Do you need victory by having a fluent tongue? or do you want to gain person's heart? We cannot get both of them.

Even if you are right, if you force others to change their opinion you will be failed. The most weakness of human being is gaining recognition. Many people sacrificed many things to get a power and social status for this.

If you try to make them keep self-esteem you can finish dispute naturally. They will be a nice and kind person with magic words “You are the important person” from you.

02. How to make enemy.

People have confidence that they are right therefore you should tell your opinion with consideration and indirect way. You can make them notice their mistake with only facial expression, tone of voice and jesture instead of talking.

If you point out a mistake directly will they consent you? You will hurt their feeling and self-esteem.

People used to admit their mistakes but if you tell them directly that they are wrong, they will not admit their mistakes.

03. Admit your mistake.

There is a solution to resolve a conflict. When others make a mistake, tell them indirectly but when you make a mistake reflect on yourself.

People like to be aces with people therefore if you admit your mistake, people will be tolerate to you to show their mercy. If you dispute with others, opposite would be happen. Admit your mistake bravely, you will find that the problem would be solved easily without ashamedness and guilty.

04. How to be a man of sense.

When people are unpleasant you will hard to persuade them even with your clear logic. So be kind, then you will easy to get agreement. Can you make stubborn parents, supercilious boss and chatterbox wife change?

You cannot make them change forcibly because people don't change their opinion easily. You should change a way. If you praise and consent them you will get their heart as if honey attracts bee.

Do you know the fable “ the Sun and wind” ?

They lay a bet on taking off a coat from passerby. First wind blow the breath, the old man gathered his coat. As soon as the sun flashes sunlight the old man took off his coat. See favor is much powerful than anger.

05. The secret of Socrates.

Have you ever play a billiards ? If you hit a ball to goal, the ball will be come back by elasticity but if you hit a ball slightly next to the goal point, you can send a ball where you want.

People used to insist their opinion arguing with others. To subdue others, people speak with logic and fact but it results in others' objection.

When you make a conversation, start with a story you and others can consent not just talking your opinion.

Show them that we pursue same goal and there is only discrepancy in ways.

06. How to treat fusspot.

We should be humble because we are not great.  We will be forgetable after 100 years. Nobody can avoid death. Life is short and in vain, How can we say we are great? We rather pursue others' wisdom.

People think others trust eloquent speaker. Give others opportunity to say, it is a better choice. The reason people cannot persuade others is talking too much.

Salesmen often make this mistake.

There are few people listen others' boasting. You are maybe busy boasting on yourself in conversation with friends. Don't make them tired of the conversation.

07. How to make them cooperate with you.

There is the only way to make others do something. Have you ever think this carefully? Right, make them want it. Remember there is not other solution.

There are not people buy what they don't want. Ask their opinion and then they will suggest you sales idea instead of particular over it.

Ask their opinion and respect them. If they think you are a helper, they will cooperate with you.

08. The art of conversation for a miracle.

“Why they think like that?” “ Why they act like that?” If you find a real hidden reason you will understand their behavior and character.

When you expect you want others do something, close your eyes and think. “why he should act like this?” Of course this way is trifle but you can resolve a conflict and get rid of unpleasant situation approaching friendly.

09. How to meet their demand.

Do you want to stop dispute and controversial discussion? Do you want to give them favor? Here is the answer. “ It is natural that you think like this. Maybe I did also like you.” There is no people argue with you in this attitude. This is the way to stop dispute and anger, even stubborn and mean person will be changed to favorable person. Most of people pursue admitting and sympathy. If you try to understand standing their side you can get their heart.

Everybody seeks sympathy. Children like to show their scar, adults also want to tell on their disease, accident and pain. Likewise human being seek sympathy as  instinct.

10. Appeal to the high motivation.

Everybody thinks that they are nice and overestimate themselves.

When people do something there are two reasons. First is a real reason and second is a plausible reason. You can make full use of the second reason. If you want to make someone change, appeal to their noble motivation.

If you don't know who they are, just believe they are nice and honest people.

If you trust them, they will live up to your expectations.

11. Show showmanship.

Men kneel down before lover or prepare wonderful dinner with candle.

Men prepare romantic mood for successful proposal. If you show this kind of showmanship people will indulge in your attraction.

Today is showmanship era. Just telling a fact is not enough.

Create a situation with interesting and lively way. Isn't it interesting for a Volvo to empathize strongness with elephant on the car or mickeymouse from the fable?

Wise showmanship gives unexpectable benefit.

Use your creativity. Abandon old way, contend for victory with a creative idea.

12. Give a blow in the last minute.

Stir up the emotion of competition. Everybody desires to take the lead.

Competition makes challenge of consciousness rise and person who focus on the work get best accomplishment. Competition is a golden opportunity to appeal to others capability and valuable. Therefore the person who enjoy competition can get success.