Written by Do, Heung Chan

                                                                                  Learner Korea.

In the movie “What women want” advertising planner Nick has a hard time because of “Dilsey” who is his boss and competitor. One day he got electrical shock and could have ability to read girls' mind. He has advantage in the relationship with her because of it.

Everybody wants to read others' mind in important sales and negotiation.

Is it possible to read others' mind like this movie? It is a little possible even if it is not perfectly just as movie.

You also have experience in reading others' mind successfully.  For example you noticed that your friend wants to have your newly bought toy or you recognized a guy's mind who is always around you. We have many experiences like these.

Reading others' mind is sometimes easy but sometimes hard. Why?

When people want to expose their heart, it is easy to read but when customers who want to buy clothes cheaply and have advantage in negotiation, they will hide their intention. You will hard to read their mind.

we are hard to read others' mind in business than personal relationship because disclosing intention means making a loss. That is why people hide their intention. Nonetheless if we have knowledge and make a effort to read others' mind, we can read others' mind.

The method to read others' mind: Read emotion not thinking.

In a soap drama “ Emperor Wang Gun” learned how to read others' mind and said “ I can read all of your mind.” Reading emotion is more useful and increase probability than reading thinking. Reading others' emotion is important in business. It is essential to get a successful business result not only in the relationship between men and women.

How to read others' emotion?

Observing the behavior is the answer. Even if people try to hide and deceive, emotion appears in behavior because they are connected mentally. Of course hard trained gambler is exceptional but most people show their emotion in behavior.

When people talk they focus on their idea and thinking without looking at others carefully. That is why people cannot read others' emotion. To read others' mind speak briefly observing their face expression and body jesture carefully  when they talk.

There are 3 emotions we should read in business. “ Pleasure (OK), Worrying (reviewing) and disappointment (No). There are many ways to read emotion but the most basic way is paying attention to facial expression and breathing because emotion appears on facial expression and breathing.

If others say “ It is a good idea.” with smiling, you might think that sign means OK and relieve but there are discrepancy between “ true smile accepting your idea” and “ false smile”. For example if people smile with lips not eyes it is likely false smile. Just as this, emotion convey by facial expression.

First of all if you can distinguish disappointment and anxiety on facial expression, you are in the first step to be a psychologist. Observing body jesture with facial expression is more useful.

Second.  Breathing.

People breathe slowly when they are satisfied but breathe fast when they are uneasy.

If people breathe fast their eyes move fast also. They hurry in behavior and word. If you are interested in their breath as a hobby, your ability to read others' emotion will be increased.

In the movie “mother”, Jingu's mother,  Kim He- Ja try to catch a murderer to clear her son of a false charge. A friend of her son JinTae gives her a good advice as follows, “ Go to the site of the murder and think about it from the murderer's side. If you do it you will know the murderer's intention and emotion. Being others and act are the good way to read others' mind.

This way can be applied to the business as it is. It is called “mirroring” that is having a conversation with others' similar voice and behavior. If consultant try to make a effort to have a same feeling by customers' similar behavior, customers will feel understood and they will trust consultant. They will show their mind.

Your wife is holding a cup of coffee looking at outside from the window. If you want to know her mind, act like her. You can read her mind with this. If you still can not read her mind your wife will find you and then might talk about herself.